Andrea Herrington Fails Linguistics (and History) Forever | Can’t Sleep: Jews Will Eat Me | Debunking the claims of Maxine Dietrich and her alien-worshipping Neo-Nazi friends.


Andrea Herrington Fails Linguistics (and History) Forever

Andrea Herrington is one of the more entertaining kooks on the interweb. For those not aware of who she is, I’ll be brief:

Andrea Herrington (also known as Maxine Dietrich) runs a website called the Joy of Satan. She is a theistic Satanist who believes that Satanism was the original religion before those nasty monotheists showed up to ruin everyone’s fun. Oh, and Satan’s real name is Enki and he’s an extraterrestrial.

But there’s more. She’s also a Neo-Nazi who believes that Jews are not just mistaken, but EVIL. Heresy, you say? Hardly. Her husband, Clifford Herrington, was the leader of the National Socialist Movement until rumors about his wife’s extracurricular activities started to spread. You would think that Neo-Nazis would be more understanding of odd and irrational beliefs, but apparently even they have a limit. Most Neo-Nazis and other white supremacist types today are atheists, Germanic pagans, pantheists or adherents of the Christian Identity movement and apparently, they weren’t that enamored with theology as… unique as the Herringtons’. The fall of the Herringtons is long and complicated and not the point of this article either, so I’ll leave it at that. Those who are so inclined can visit the Anti-Defamation League for more juicy gossip.

Back to Andrea’s beliefs. Aside from the fact that she’s on record as a hater of all things Jew, most of her history is based on either popular misconception (i.e. the medieval Catholic Church was an all-powerful organization that operated like the Mafia) or bizarre assertions pulled out of some dark crevice of her ass (i.e. only Jews practiced blood sacrifice.) She has sources for her ravings, but unfortunately, most of them are the work of people like Zecharia Sitchin. Sitchin has been criticized repeatedly for his lack of knowledge about science, the Bible and the Sumerian, Akkadian and Hebrew languages. Valid criticisms all, but next to Andrea, Sitchin is William fucking Albright.

It’s also ironic (or not) that most of her sources are identical to the ones used by far-right Christian kooks like Jack Chick, Berit and Andy Kjos and Ralph Epperson.

Andrea and her followers’ biggest problem (aside from the obvious) is that they seem to be completely unaware that languages change. The English we speak today is not the same as the English we spoke in centuries past. If you doubt that, read these passages:

Your eyën two will slay me suddenly:
I may the beauty of them not sustene,
So woundeth it throughout my hertë ken.
And but your word will helen hastily
My hertës woundë, while that it is green,
Your eyën two will slay me suddenly:
I may the beauty of them not sustene

Hwæt. We Gardena in gear-dagum,
þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon,
hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon.

Both of these passages, my friends, are written in English. But the first passage is an example of Middle English (written some time in the 14th century) while the latter is an example of Old English (written some time between the 8th and 11th centuries.)

This is important because many times the articles authored by JoS clergy will assert that certain English words were “stolen” from other languages based on the fact that the words look similar. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to the debunking!

The main Gods who interacted with humanity and are our creators (through genetic engineering) are the race of Gods known as the Nordics. They live throughout the galaxy in several different solar systems. They are highly advanced in knowledge, intelligence, and in spirit. Some are helpful to humans as are Satan and the Elder Gods who have been labeled as “Demons.” [1]

I wonder what JoS’ definition of Nordic is. I was under the impression that Nordic referred to Northern European, particularly Teutonic, peoples. Then again, they might be going by the writings of people like Benjamin Creme.

The Tarot has a hidden message and instructions for performing the Magnum Opus. From the Tarot, the Jewish invented “Torah” was stolen, with the original teachings being thoroughly corrupted. The Jewish “Torah” is also known as “The Five Books of Moses” (another fictitious Jewish character based upon Sargon and Thutmose) or the “Pentateuch.” The five books were rip-offs from the five suits of the Tarot: Wands/Rods (the element of fire), Pentacles/Coins (the element of earth), Cups (the element of water) and Swords (the element of air), with the trump being the aether or quintessence. All five elements form the essence of the human soul (the fifth element of quintessence holds the four together) and are employed in the working of the Magnum Opus. [1]

To begin with, the Hebrew written “Five Books of Moses” also known as the “Pentateuch”, along with the “Torah” were STOLEN and CORRUPTED from the Egyptian “TAROT.” Note- “Torah” is an anagram of “Tarot.” [4]

In the real word, as opposed to the Bizarro parallel world that the Herringtons and friends inhabit, the Torah dates back to somewhere around 1313 BCE whereas the Tarot appeared in the 15th century CE.Tarot is actually a French word, not an Egyptian one, that was derived from the Italian, tarocchi, a word whose origin is not certain. In any case, tarot was originally called “trionfi”, Italian for triumph or trump, referring to the trump cards.

To be fair, the claim that the Tarot is Egyptian was first put forth by the occultist, Antoine Court de Gébelin. This claim, however, has been discarded by historians because Court wrote his history of the Tarot before the discovery of the Rosetta Stone and therefore, his theory is pure speculation. He also claimed that Tarot was derived from the Egyptian words, “ta” (royal) and “ro” (road). That probably isn’t the case, but it’s still more believable than JoS’ claim that Tarot is an anagram of the Hebrew, Torah (especially since that anagram would only work with the Latin alphabet, which I’m pretty sure Hebrew didn’t use in the 12th century BCE.)

Torah, by the way, is Hebrew for teaching, instruction or “the Law.”

Aleister Crowley while in a trance state, drew a picture of what is known to be “Jehova” (a corruption of “YHVH” another rip-off of the four quarters and elements, making the ‘name’ unpronouncable) [1]

So great is JoS’ hatred for Jews that they apparently never bothered to learn a thing about Hebrew. The Hebrew alphabet, like that of its cousin Arabic, lacks vowels. What it has instead is the “niqqud.”

What does this mean? Basically this: that the tetragrammaton lacks vowels is not unusual. Biblical Hebrew often omitted the niqqud all together because of the assumptions of its writers (i.e. that people would know where the vowels go.)

A final mistake is claiming that the name is unpronounceable. Well, its not pronounced anymore by observant Jews, but that doesn’t mean that they never pronounced it. When the Temple was still standing in Jerusalem, the High Priest would pronounce the tetragrammaton every Yom Kippur. However, since the Temple was destroyed in 70 CE, this is no longer done.

“Hell” emerged on the scene. The word “Hell” was stolen from the Norse word “Hel” representing the Norse underworld. In truth, “Heaven” and “Hell” are code-words for the base and crown chakras. [1]

Arguing that the word Hell was stolen is a misunderstanding of etymology. Their point of view is also excessively English-centric, which presents a problem. The linguas francas at the time of Christianity’s emergence were Latin and Greek. In Latin, the word for hell is “infernum,” while in Greek, it’s “tártara.” Maybe I need stronger glasses, but infernum and tártara don’t look like they were stolen from “Hel” to me.

Furthermore, it is extremely unlikely that the authors of the gospels, the church fathers, and/or Paul of Tarsus (whom Andrea credits as the founder of Christianity) spoke English, seeing as how even Old English only dates to the fifth century. I greatly admire anyone who can steal the name of a Norse goddess they’ve probably never heard of for a language that does not yet exist. They would be high-powered stockbrokers, no doubt, if they were alive today.

The modern word ‘hell’ derives from the old English “hel” and “helle”, and yes, it is a cognate of the Old Norse name of the netherworld. Amazingly, they actually got something right. I’m not even going to bother with the claims about chakras though. Just… no.

3. “Satan” in Hebrew means “adversary,” but the Hebrew language was derived from other languages that preceded it by hundreds to thousands of years. The Hebrew letters are derived from Phoenician and Phoenician was derived from hieroglyphics; cuneiform- just research any text book on the origins of languages. [2]

Both Phoenician and Hebrew are classified as Canaanite languages, which are in the Semitic family of the larger Afro-Asiatic family.

The Joy of Satan clergy also seem to have misunderstood what Egyptian hieroglyphics and Sumerian cuneiform were. They are writing systems—like runes or the Latin alphabet—not separate languages.

So where did Phoenician and Hebrew come from then, you ask? Probably Canaanite, as demonstrated by this family tree. Notice, however, that Sumerian is not listed anywhere in this diagram. This is because Sumerian, like Basque and Korean, is classified by linguists as a language isolate.

Note in the upper northwest corner of the map of India, the name of the town “Satana.” “Satnam” and “Sa Ta Na Ma” are sacred mantras used in kundalini (serpent) meditation. The five primal sounds in Ancient Sanskrit, one of the oldest known languages are “SA-TA-NA-MA.” “Sa” means infinity; Ta means life; Na means death; and Ma means rebirth. The Jews who wrote the bible, obviously at some point shortened “Sa-Ta-Na-Ma” to “Satan” which cuts off at death. This was in further attempts to remove knowledge and replace it. The nazarene was invented as a distraction for the masses and nothing more. [2]

The JoS really really need to learn about the wonderful world of false friends. There are a number of pages on the ‘net that claim to have established a link between Hebrew and Sanskrit. The problem is that they do this by simply comparing lexicon, and some similarities in lexicon do not prove a relationship. Actual linguists compare syntax and phonological and morphological systems as well. I suspect that most sites comparing Sanskrit and Hebrew don’t mention syntax or phonological and morphological systems because they probably don’t know what they are.

There have been many conflicting articles concerning the Yezidi Devil worshippers of Iraq. The Yezidi people originally came from Southern Iraq and migrated north to Mount Lalish. It is believed they are descendants of the Assyrians who sought refuge after the fall of Nineveh in 612 BCE. [3]

Sorry, but no. The Yezidi, by and large, are KURDS, and therefore, they’re more closely related to the Persians than the Assyrians. There areAssyrians alive in the Middle East today, but most of them are Syriac Christians, not Yezidi.

The name “Jehova” was stolen from the Roman God “Jove.” “The pious Dr. Parkhurst. . . proves, from the authority of Diodorus Siculus, Varro, St. Augustine, etc., that the Iao, Jehova, or ieue, or ie of the Jews was the Jove of the Latins and Etruscans…””YHWH/IEUE was additionally the Egyptian Sun God Ra: Ra was the father in heaven, who has the title of ‘Huhi’ the eternal, from which the Hebrews derived the name ‘Ihuh.'” [4]

Remember what I said above about false friends? Uh-huh… Jehovah is the English rendering of YHVH or יְהֹוָה. It’s been argued that “Jehovah” is based on a misunderstanding. The Jews rarely pronounced YHVH and used ‘Adonai’ or ‘Elohim’ instead when reading aloud from scripture. Where YHVH originates is hard to say, though it was already in use by the time of the Babylonian captivity, in the 6th century BCE. That throws some dirt on Andrea’s theory, considering that the Jews had little-to-no contact with the Romans or their god, Jupiter, until Rome conquered Judea in the 1st century BCE.

The name Jupiter, incidentally, was derived from the Latin, “lovis pater” and “Iovis” was eventually turned into Jove by English writers.

Most wound up in the “Goetia.” Note the similarity of the root “Goet” meaning “Devil” and the derogatory Jewish word for Gentile, which is “goy” or plural, “goyim.” [5]

(“goy” or “goyim” – plural, are Jewish derogatory words for “Gentile/s” the root “goeti” is the root word of “Devil.” Satan is the God of the Gentiles and our True Creator God. “Satan” means “enemy” in Hebrew. [7]

Goetia is a Latin word derived from the Greek, γοητεια (goeteiam, meaning “charm” or “jugglery”) which was derived in turn from the Greek word for sorcerer, γοης.

Goyim is indeed a Hebrew word often used to refer to Gentiles. However,goyim literally means “nation”or “people” and has no connection with devils or demons. Your mileage may vary about the question of whether or not goyim is “derogatory.”

Note “Jesus” the five letters represent the five elemtnts- fire, earth, air, water, and quintessence of the human soul [6]

I suppose the JoS clergy assumes “Jesus” was the name first applied to the Nazarene? Sorry, but no. Jesus is “an Anglicization of the Greek Ίησους (Iēsous), itself a Hellenization of the Hebrew יהושע (Yehoshua) or Hebrew-Aramaic ישוע (Yeshua), meaning ‘YHWH rescues.'” Had the New Testament not been written in Greek, we might have known Jesus as Joshua, but more about that can be found here.

“Easter” was stolen from Astaroth. Originally known as “Ashtar.” This holiday coincides with the Vernal Equinox of spring when day and night are of equal length. Known as “Eastre” to the Anglo-Saxons. As the Goddess of fertility, she was associated with rabbits and eggs. The xtians stole this holiday and twisted its meaning. Other names include: Easter Eastre Eos Eostre Ester Estrus (Estrus is when an animal goes into heat; mating season) Oestrus Oistros and Ostara. Again, the “Lamb of God” was stolen from the Zodiac sign of Aries the Ram which occurs every spring. [6]

You know, there’s a great dictionary of etymology over here. Try and use it sometime. And once again, Andrea and co.’s view is very English-centric. There are Christians who don’t speak English, after all, and they don’t call Easter, well, “Easter.” Speakers of Romance languages call Easter by its Greek name, Pascha, which was derived from Pesach, the Hebrew Passover. Speakers of many Slavic languages call it “Great Day” in their respective tongues. In Croatian and Serbian, Easter is called Uskrs, “Resurrection.”

So where does the English word, “Easter?” come from? That dictionary of etymology I linked to above says Easter is derived from the Old English,Eastre. According to the Venerable Bede, Eostre was an Anglo-Saxon goddess of the dawn whose name was co-opted by Anglo-Saxon Christians for the celebration of the resurrection of Christ.

The article mentions “Ostara” and had Andrea spent more time doing research and less time doing LSD, she’d know that Ostara was first mentioned by Jakob Grimm, of Brothers Grimm fame. He speculated that Ostara was a German goddess that the German Easter, Ostern was based on. (While we’re on the subject, the neo-pagan holiday of Ostara is a mixture of different spring fertility celebrations and there seems to be no actual record of a historical holiday called Ostara.)

So does that mean that the whole idea of Easter was stolen from Germanic and Anglo-Saxon religion? Probably not. The idea of the celebration was not invented by Anglo-Saxons and the Venerable Bede’s theory about Easter coming from the goddess Eostre was just that. Eostre has no certain parallel in North Germanic languages, though Jacob Grimm suggested Eostre may be related to the figure of Austri, from a 13th century Prose Edda. So, in short: whether or not Eostre was actually ever worshipped is up for debate. Either way, neither the Venerable Bede nor Jakob Grimm ever claimed that she was associated with rabbits or eggs.

Moving on, the claim that the “Lamb of God” was stolen from the Zodiac sign/constellation Aries is another thing straight out of Bizarro world. The Lamb of God actually comes out of Passover tradition when the Temple in Jerusalem was still intact. Every Passover, a lamb would be slain, its blood spread on the altar and the flesh eaten. Now since I know most of the Joy of Satan clergy has a difficult time grasping metaphor, I’ll spell it out: in calling Jesus Christ the “Lamb of God”, his followers were saying that he was a sacrificial lamb offered up to repent for humanity’s sins. There’s an alternative theory that the phrase should actually be translated as “son of God”, but either way, it doesn’t have a thing to do with Aries the Ram.

Speaking of, Aries actually refers to a golden ram that rescued Phrixus and Helle from being sacrificed due to the lies of their stepmother, Ino. Helle fell off the back of the ram and drowned, though Phrixus reached dry land safely and sacrificed the ram to Zeus in thanks. The ram’s golden fleece was given to Aeëtes and that golden fleece became the very fleece that Jason sought to claim in myth of Jason, Medea and the Argonauts.

The Rosary was stolen from Tibetan Mala Beads, used for meditation. The repetition of the “Hail Marys” and the “our fathers” are stolen from the East Asian Mantras. A Mantra is a word repeated over and over to focus the mind in meditation. “Ohm” is the most common. The robotic repetitious prayers recited over and over again in Christian Churches are also corrupted imitations of mantras. [6]

… Right. And the Desert Fathers knew what Buddhists were doing in Tibet… how, exactly?

And sadly, their definition of a mantra is, at best, an oversimplification.

“Amen” when said at the end of Christian prayers was STOLEN as well. “Amen” was stolen from the Egyptian “Amon.” “Amon RA.” [6]

Amen is actually Old English, derived from the Greek “amen, which was in turn derived from the Hebrew “amen”, meaning truth. It was often used as a term to confirm agreement, from Semitic root a-m-n “to be trustworthy, confirm, support.” This is why, even today, people often respond to a statement that heartily agree with with “Amen!” Amon, conversely, was apparently Egyptian for “hidden.”

The Tarot, which originated in Egypt and is based upon the constellations (Egypt was the center of Spiritual Alchemy) has evolved into a deck of cards, of which modern playing cards originated after the trump was discarded.

There’s no concrete evidence that the Tarot came from Egypt, unless Andrea and friends have a large collection of manuscripts stored away somewhere. As far as we can definitely tell, the first Tarot decks originated in 15th century Italy.

It’s true that playing cards in general first entered Europe by way of the Egyptian Mamluke Sultanate, sometime in the 11th or 12th century, but there’s no reason to suppose that the Mamlukes were sekritly into Egyptian mysticism. Most of the the Mamulkes came from the areas around the Caucasus and were, therefore, no more “Egyptian” thanCleopatra VII.

Michael the archangel is the same and was stolen from Marduk. Archangel “Gabriel” was stolen from the Egyptian God Thoth, Raphael was stolen from Azazel and Uriel from Beelzebub.

Michael, Gabriel, Raphael and Uriel began as Chaldean demi-gods, not a Babylonian god, an Egyptian god, a Talmudic angel and a Philistine idol.

This is one of the many, many examples of the Joy of Satan clergy asserting that some Jewish or Christian angel/god/biblical figure was stolen from something in some other religion, and then fail to back up that claim. What are the similarities between say, Raphael and Azazel?

The “Horned God” originates to Sumeria. The Sumerian Gods wore headgear with horns. This predates Judeo/Christianity by thousands of years. Pagan religions were known for their worship of the Horned God. [1]

Kind of like Vikings? (Or not: apparently Vikings never wore horned helmets. Damn.)

Anyway, the Horned God myth was advocated by Margaret Murray in the 1930s, but it’s been discredited and Andrea’s version is even more bizarre. At least Murray could point to actual horned gods in ancient European religions, like Pan or Cernunnos. As far as I’m aware, there is no Sumerian god with horns; hell, there’s not even a Akkadian or Assyrian god with horns.

Next time on, “Can’t Sleep: Jews Will Eat Me”… The Joy of Satan Ministries and the Inquisition.

2 thoughts on “Andrea Herrington Fails Linguistics (and History) Forever | Can’t Sleep: Jews Will Eat Me | Debunking the claims of Maxine Dietrich and her alien-worshipping Neo-Nazi friends.

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